I SAID GOODBYE

I SAID GOODBYE

I said goodbye to an old friend today. He was my friend and sole
companion for difficult years, and all through the rebuilding of my
torn and tattered self. We were together for 9 terrific years. In the
fateful year of 1997 I was preparing for a solitude I expected to last
for some time. On a whim I stopped by the dog-pound just outside of
Tucson. I thought I should have a look and see if they might have a
boxer in the kennel. My folks had had boxers throughout my
childhood years and the thought had always been persistent to find a
little boxer dog of my own. As if by grace of God there he was,
shivering from the flea-dip tank, and looking for all the world like
life’s loneliest creature. I snatched his 3x5 card that was above the
cage door and went to the front desk to ask about adoption. Three days
later I picked him up from the Humane Society, where he had received his
shots, rabies vaccine and mandatory neutering. I put him in the front
seat of my truck, where he calmly rode shotgun, and gazed at me down
his suspicious snout. It was like, who are you and where are we going?
I talked to him a little to try easing his suspicion. I was told he was
approximately 1.5 years old, but his actual birth date was unknown, as
were his previous owners. The name on his card read "Rooster." I
decided that it was as good as any name I might think of, and since I
always have trouble deciding new names, it would stay Rooster. When we
arrived back at the homestead, the people who were there but leaving
shortly and without notice, acted mildly taken with him for a moment.
They were "animal lovers" as such, maintaining a small herd of dogs of
various sizes and breeds, and several horses. So, he was largely
ignored. A kind of sick Cinderella story set in the desert, it was.
Soon, like a nest of thieves, the people were gone, and Rooster and I
were given all the space in an empty house, miles from anything.
I sold the house after a fashion, and Rooster and I moved closer to
town, in a smaller place. He never wanted to be left behind. He loved
to ride in the truck or the car. He would lie down on the seat and wait
with such patience, while I went into wherever we had gone. At home he had
to have a piece of furniture to make his resting spot. Eventually, I
bought him a couch, but he still was in my chair whenever I left and
came back. He slept in the bed with me, and was notorious for taking
3/4 of the space by morning. He never had "accidents" in the house. He
was seriously in control of that part of his life. He would disappear
down the wash that ran alongside our property and come back after a
fashion like a seasoned trooper. He was a rough customer toward other
dogs. He was completely fearless, regardless of another animal’s size
or aggressiveness. His turf was not negotiable. Towards people, he was
the gentlest, most loving dog I have ever seen. When he saw me again
after any separation, he danced about like a crazed puppy. Anyone who
met him was enchanted by his aura. He was courageous and had a
mesmerizing telepathy in his eyes. He seemed to know what you were
thinking. Ok, he was just a dog.
Then, in 2001, we met our family. The night we first went to their house for supper, Rooster came along. I told him as we pulled up to the house, "Rooster, someone is cooking dinner for
us." He paid attention to everything I said. Both he and I were greeted
with such love that we stayed forever. Rooster even gained a new friend
named Scotty. Scotty is a Dalmatian about the same size as Rooster, but
was in need of a wiser friend. That night was 5 years ago. Now we all
live in California and enjoy a happy life together. We have become
one.
Today I said goodbye to Rooster. We all said our good byes to Rooster
in the last week. This month (July) we began to notice Rooster was
changing. He was coughing and seemed to be losing weight and energy. I
took him to the vet in the first week. He was given medication for his
cough and antibiotics for any other infections that might be. One week
ago he looked not the same dog that I have known for these past 9
years. He was given a blood test and X-rays. That afternoon, the vet
gave me the diagnosis. Rooster had a large tumor on his liver, and it
had spread to his lung. The condition was inoperable. I brought him
home so we could have him a little while longer, and love him as much
as we could for as long as we could have him around. By the weekend, he
was skeletal and breathing uncomfortably. He still was eating, but less
and less. I noticed he was trembling as he lay on the floor. He was
having difficulty standing, and I knew our time was up. We are all
holding our grief in our own way. Angela and I are embracing as the day
marches to an end. The children are containing their misery and loss
with courage. We said goodbye to our pal today. I really can’t describe
what it is like, because it is unlike anything. We said goodbye to an
old friend today.