Wednesday, February 18, 2009

REPAIRMAN NARROWLY ESCAPES SATANIC CULT

A small SUV pulled into the driveway as we sat at the supper table with our guest for the evening, Chris La Tray. I had been waiting for a repair person, who was scheduled to arrive between 5 and 7 that evening to fix our washing machine. Having 3 boys in the house can create a massive pile-up of laundry if not dealt with as it occurs. So, the odd hour of service was something I could tolerate if I could get the thing fixed without delay. It was approaching 8 PM when he finally arrived. I asked Chris to excuse me while I showed the repairman to the laundry room.
I went through the garage and opened the side door to allow the repairman entry so we wouldn't have to go through the main part of the house. In the dark I saw a wiry little man with gnome-like features. He was wearing a baseball cap. He looked to be around fifty years of age or so, and carried his toolbox over his shoulder. As we entered the garage in the light, he gestured toward my hoodie and made a curious remark. "You know what that symbol is, dontcha?" "Which?" I replied. "That one there, on yer shirt". I looked down at the yellow icon printed on my black Obey hoodie, a gear with a five-pointed star depicting the face of Andre the Giant in its center. " Yes, All City Posse", I told him, "It's a brand, you know, the name of the line, a brand". "It's the sign of the devil", he said, with utter conviction. "It's a pentagram, the sign of the devil!" "Well, no, that would be if it were upside down, with the two points on top instead of one". "That, is a pentagram! The sign of the DEVIL". He paused, and mulled over the predicament he was facing. He could shortly be on his knees, with his face close to Satan's washing machine, which could have dire implications. Did he really want to be the devil's humble servant, on his knees, kissing the backside of his clothes washer? He shook his head, and stiffened. "Naw, I don't work for people who don't love God", he declared. He wheeled about and veered out of the door, back to his SUV replacing the toolbox in the hatch and getting in to drive himself out of harms way.
I returned to the supper table and our guest. Everyone was finishing the fine spaghetti my wife had prepared. "Everything ok?" Angela asked. "Damn", I said, "I almost got one, but he must have caught a glimpse of my horns or my barbed tail when he came in the door, cuz he got all bent and started carrying on about the damn hoodie with Andre the Giant's puss on it".

I could not believe it, it was so unreal when it was happening. I didn't see how any of it mattered. The guy must have felt completely overcome by the sight of the Giant, Andre. But then it's weird because people really loved Andre the Giant. He was like a big picked on baby. He probably never heard of Andre, and was just scared by his face, and thought it was the devil. So, I ask, what are you going to do? We may have come a long way, but we still have a longer way to go. BWAH ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.........

5 comments:

Chris said...

He narrowly avoided the spin cycle in Satan's Whirlpool!

Anonymous said...

That is quite funny, Michael. It is good to find you healthy and blogging again. Who knew you were so witty and versatile until this:)Marion (not the anonymous from below)

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